


this is it, this is the rest of your life

by rosasdeesperanca



Category: X-Men (Original Timeline Movies), X-Men - All Media Types
Genre: Erik Has Feelings, M/M, Post Dark Phoenix, We will always have Paris, charles everything will be fine
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-30
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-05-31 00:40:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 12,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19414882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rosasdeesperanca/pseuds/rosasdeesperanca
Summary: Erik finds Charles in Paris after the events of Dark Phoenix. And perhaps, along the way he finds a piece of his heart too.





	1. paris

He was anxious, coming to Paris to see Charles was more stressful than he’d first thought. That was perhaps a bit over the top. But did he ever do something that wasn’t? And he had something to ask. Something very important. Something that perhaps, if he admitted it to himself had been on his mind for a long while. He never dared when Charles had a home but now that he was out there, probably feeling lost. Erik wanted to help. He wanted to do what Charles once did for him, offer him a home, make him feel like he belonged somewhere. Perhaps, he really was turning sentimental as he grew older but he was tired of fighting and denying himself what he wanted. After all, he had always wanted Charles by his side. 

Erik arrived there with his portable chess set. Spotting Charles sitting at a café called “les vieux copains” in “rue de la paix” Erik smiled in spite of himself, perhaps he wasn’t the only sentimental fool there. He knew Charles could feel his mind before he could see him and he approached with the confidence he really tried to exude and wasn’t feeling quite yet. Charles didn’t look so pleased when he sat in front of him but Erik wasn’t going to give up so soon. He let his chess set down and got straight to business “How’s retirement treating you?” 

“What are you doing here, Erik?”  
Charles was unimpressed so far, but Erik was patient. 

“Here to see an old friend. Fancy a game?” 

“No, not today. Thank you.” His tone was still dismissive and Charles looked exhausted, the kind that rest couldn’t heal. The kind that followed you everywhere, weighed you down. Erik knew everything about this kind of exhaustion. 

That was his time, he had to say it, he had nothing to lose and everything to win “A long time ago, you saved my life. And you offered me a home. I’d like to do the same for you.”

He brought out two hands, each one hiding a pawn. Black and white. Erik found it quite easy, nothing was ever so simple. Nothing was ever truly black or white. Everything was terribly or wonderfully nuanced. “Just one game. For old time’s sake.” He smiled slightly. 

Charles touched his left hand and Erik tried not to think about how this simple, gentle touch was the first time they had been close in so long. Charles got the white pawn, how convenient. Erik always felt more comfortable in black. Perhaps, back home, they could change that. Erik could bathe in white for once, know he still had the good Charles saw him so long ago. 

“I’ll go easy on you.” He teased. 

“No, you won’t” Charles said with a tiny smile. 

Erik couldn’t help but laugh softly, for once he didn’t only feel calm or content. He was happy. Maybe, it was only a moment but in this moment he had been truly happy. When Charles laughed back. Erik knew exactly why he was here, exactly why he was happy. He did something good, for Charles and for him too. He gave them a chance to be at peace, to be a pair, to share something. He was in the right place, at the right time. That didn’t happen often, but he was glad that this moment existed. 

Charles would win this game, Erik could feel it. Perhaps, he also really wanted him to win. He spoke again after a while “So what brought you to Paris?”

Charles took a breath “I don’t know. It’s a beautiful city, I didn’t have anywhere to go, I only ever had the mansion and the kids. I thought Europe wasn’t such a bad place to retire. I started there.” 

Erik wondered if Charles knew how sad it all sounded. He had left the only home he ever had to wander around, on his own. That didn’t have to be sad, it could be wonderful to travel but Charles had been alone too many times, Erik thought. No matter how many kids he helped, he had been lonely. And he was even more now. Erik knew everything about loneliness.

“I have to say I missed Europe. I never had time to properly appreciate it. I was always on the run. But Paris has always been fascinating to me. It’s so peaceful and full of noise at the same time.”

Charles nodded “I think so too, exactly what I needed.” 

Erik smiled “You’re going to win this game.”

“Are you letting me win on purpose?” He rose his eyebrows. 

“No, you just have the upper hand today, it seems.”

Charles chuckled “Well, that’s good I guess. Hank wasn’t a good player. He’s a genius, he’s great at so many things. But he’s not a great chess player. It was never satisfying to win.”

“And I’m a better adversary?”

“Very much so.” Charles said with a nod “The best I’ve ever played with.”

Erik smiled to himself. He really didn’t care about losing today. It felt like he was winning so much more than just a game.

When Charles finally won, it came as no surprise. Erik ordered coffees for both of them and asked “Where will you go next?” 

Charles looked thoughtful “I don’t know...I’ve thought about south Europe next. But I haven’t decided yet.” 

“You mean you haven’t planned anything?” 

“I’ll have you know that I’m very spontaneous.”

“Hm hm of course, professor.” 

“You know what? I’m going to beat you up and then I’ll go to another European country.” He said confidently. 

“That just proves you are rich and never had time to travel, Charles.” Erik argued playfully. 

“And that I’m fun, you old grump.” 

That made Erik laugh “Did you just call me ‘old grump’?”

“You heard me. Let’s play a game of my own.” 

Before Erik could ask what this game could be, Charles was talking to a woman “Excusez-moi, auriez-vous un stylo et un bout de papier, s’il vous plaît?”

The blonde woman nodded and got a little notebook and a pen out of her purse and handed these to Charles with a smile. Charles tore a page, cut it into two equal pieces of paper and wrote down something Erik wasn’t even close to guess. And gave back the items as soon with a sincere thank you and a smile of his own. 

Erik looked quizzically at him. Charles only showed two hands the same way Erik did less than an hour ago. Erik played along and touched his right hand. Holding a bit longer than he should to the touch. Charles didn’t seem to mind. Erik took the paper and read it out “Portugal.” 

Charles smiled “That’s where I will go next, then.” 

“What did the other paper say?” 

“Spain. Thankfully, you got Portugal. I’ve never been there.” 

Erik was anxious. He thought Charles was planning to go with him. He must have thought really loudly because Charles reacted instantly. 

“I plan to go to Genosha with you. I just want to enjoy this trip while I’m there. You could go with me if you wanted.”

“To Portugal?” He sounded like a dumbfounded idiot but he couldn’t help it. 

“Yes. Would you like that?”

Would he like some time away with Charles? That was such a rhetorical question. Of course, he wanted to. He went to Paris just to find Charles, vacation with him sounded unreal but good, really good.” 

“Yes.” He only said but the way his voice sounded told so much more than words ever could. 

Charles’ face was so bright in this moment, Erik thought he had to make that happen more often “Is tomorrow too soon for you?”

“No, not at all.” Erik shook his head “I’ll just have to call and say I’ll be gone for a while but I’m free to go tomorrow.” 

Charles’ smile didn’t seem to leave his face “Great, then! I’ll call for the plane tickets.” 

He was really doing this, planning to go with Charles. He felt so much younger than he was, freer, happier. Only the prospect of doing something with Charles just because they wanted to was foreign but felt so incredibly good. Charles was feeling the same, it was only written all over his face, imprinted in his voice, the brightness in his eyes, the way he was glowing in the morning light. Erik couldn’t remember the last time he felt so ecstatic. 

The rest of the day was spent in the same way, with joyful conversations, shy smiles and great food. Between le Parc des Tuileries and Saint-Michel. Between Saint-Paul and hidden restaurants and librairies. Erik felt like he was in a dream, a perfect dream that was even better because it was real. They were there, in Paris, finding places that only belonged to them and everybody else. It was a wonderful feeling to just see Charles existing right in front of him, always close to him. That is where he should have always been. But Erik found no bitterness, no sadness in this day. He didn’t regret what was past, he had now. He was holding a bright, marvelous now in both of his hands. 

When night was starting to fall on them, sitting on a bench, tucked in by the warm air and the stars, Erik felt complete. And when Charles spoke next, Erik could only say yes. 

“Do you want to follow me back to my hotel room?”


	2. hotel room

Erik found himself on Charles’ bed, wearing Charles’ expensive nightwear as they were watching a French film and laughing. The moment was so pure, so bright Erik was scared to do anything or move even slightly. He only looked over at Charles, made quick remarks that got chuckles out of him. Nothing else mattered. At some point Charles laid his head on his shoulder and he accepted the touch with reverence. This was a sign of trust, they could be affectionate towards each other which nothing to hold them back, no one to look and judge, nothing to make them feel they didn’t belong with each other. Erik rather liked that. 

“It’s funny but I never asked you how you found me, how you knew I was there.” Charles laughed softly. 

“First, I thought I’d found you in the mansion. They told me you were gone. Only no one said where, I had to make my own research. Thankfully I have someone at home who’s very good at finding other mutants.”

Charles sighed “Still good at finding people all over the world, are you?”

“Well, this time it was no work and all pleasure.” 

Charles laughed softly “I see that.” 

Erik hated to turn serious but he had to ask “Why did no one knew where you went?”

The shadow that passed on Charles’ face made him regret what he said “I...I didn’t think they really needed me anymore. There’s Hank and the other teachers. And no one asked me, well except Kurt. He saw me as I left and insisted he should know in case I needed someone to teleport me back home. I could feel he hoped I would come back soon. I didn’t have the heart to tell him, I didn’t know when I would. That I really didn’t feel like I deserved to.”

“Deserved to?” Erik was bewildered. 

“I failed them, Erik. I tried to help but I don’t know...perhaps I made it worse for them.” Charles’ tone was nothing but resigned. 

“No, I won’t accept that.” His voice left no place for argument. 

“Erik...” He tried to calm him but he was already boiling. All the feelings he had repressed when he had heard Charles left and nobody checked where or wanted to know were coming back to him. 

“No! You make mistakes and suddenly everything you’ve done before is erased? You always tried to protect everyone and sacrificed what you wanted for that many times. You knew that the humans wouldn’t keep that peace if you weren’t playing their game. You knew that and you were right because the second it got bad they turned against you. You knew, Charles. And perhaps, you did like it. All this attention, talking with the president, getting speeches on tv but that just means you were used of the hate and rejection. Like all of us were. You can’t be perfect all the time, Charles. You have your own flaws. You didn’t make that, you made mistakes with Jean, but you’re not to blame for the deaths and destruction, this power...it was always inside of her. It was always going to come out.” 

“Yes, but I made it worse...I think when I tried to save her, I doomed her.”

“But you didn’t. Controlling her mind like that, wasn’t right, but she was a little girl with such an incredible power and so much pain. Trust me, Charles. I know all about that. And I know all the damage it can bring. You tried to save her from her father, from her mind. You’re a good man, Charles. You are still the man I met 30 years ago, although you have changed. You are still the kindest man I have ever known.”

“I’m not so sure of that.” Charles looked down. 

“Well, I am. And you know how I never give up on my ideas. I’m not going to give up on that or you.” Not like the people who called you a friend, Erik thought.

“I know but...”

Erik held Charles‘ chin up and looked deep into his eyes “No buts. I’m right about this.” 

Erik realised he wanted only one thing right this instant, perhaps he had wanted it for years forgetting when it started. He knew it was his time, that it only took a leap of faith. He finally jumped and kissed Charles out of the blue. Charles was surprised at first, eyes wide open. But then he relaxed into the kiss and something wonderful happened, he kissed back. With even more force, like he had been waiting for this too. Erik’s heart leaped out of his chest. 

This got messy like only people who had being longing for each other, for so long, could get. This was absolutely chaotic but somehow perfect and Erik couldn’t stop after each breath they took, he went back again. It was astonishing how you could live so long without something and once you got it, you craved it even it was happening. You never had enough. That’s how Erik had felt. Always wanting more and never wanting it to end. That was a strange addiction but one he couldn’t get tired of. Nevertheless, Erik was filled with a tiny vicious part of fear, that will only grow he was sure. Nothing in his life had been that brilliant and remained with him. It was like everything Erik loved had turned into dust and he really didn’t want anything to happen to Charles again. It was insidious really, and he couldn’t do anything about it. It would always be there, the fear that he caused more pain than good to the people he cherished the most. 

“Erik, darling...” Charles whispered, concerned. 

“Am I projecting?” His voice was filled with vulnerability. 

“Yes but you’re also crying.” He smiled sadly, caressing his cheek, wiping tears away. 

“I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what to say other than that. 

Charles shook his head, looking at him fondly “You don’t have to apologise for this, ever.” 

Erik felt overwhelmed. He felt too warm, too cold, too big, too small. He was staring to sweat. 

“Erik...” His hands were warm on Erik’s face, they kept him together “Love, would you at me?”

Erik obliged and tried to hold back tears this time. 

“You’re here, I’m here and everything is fine. Nothing is going to happen to me. We’re going away together, isn’t it wonderful? And then I’m coming back to Genosha with you. See? Nothing is going to turn bad. It’s time we get a bit of peace and happiness, don’t you think?”

Erik nodded and Charles smiled at him with every bit of softness Erik’s life had lacked. Erik tried to believe every word, tried to leave every fear behind. It was never going to be a won battle but he could fight against it. And he was certainly going to appreciate what he had. He kissed Charles again, it was only chaste, soft, merely a press of lips but it seemed to reassure Charles a bit. 

“We should sleep. I called while you were in the bathroom. We’re leaving first thing in the morning tomorrow. We’ll see about that Portugal sun.” He said with a smile. 

Erik smiled back “You’re right, we should. You know I’ve never been to Portugal either. I’ve always wanted to.”

“Good thing, we’re going together. We still have things to discover.” He said as he got under the covers. 

Erik turned off the tv and lights with a flick of his fingers. He held Charles tightly, never wanting to let go and thought about the sea and beautiful, colourful Portuguese streets where they would wander together.


	3. porto

They arrived at _Francisco Sá Carneiro_ Airport at 11 am. Erik felt like a teenager escaping with his boyfriend and an old man going on a very needed vacation after years of work. He was none of that, but since he never had proper teenage and was seriously starting to get old, he was falling into the latter category a lot more.

When they entered in the city, Erik had to say it was incredibly warm and colourful like only a Mediterranean country could be. Erik didn’t know how long Charles wanted to stay and he knew that he had to come back home at some point but he really felt like this part of his life, this miraculous part should last. 

They did what most tourists did, they visited. It was weird to consider himself a tourist and not a current national threat, or a fugitive or fulfilling a mission. He was just there for his own pleasure, mostly he was there because Charles was and he would’ve followed anywhere if it meant he would come home with him at the end of the day. But he found, he really liked to be there, he really liked their time away before they would really settle in a place he made and loved. 

When they started to tire and get hungry, they stopped in a restaurant with a yellow front. Their limonade was divine. And Charles ordered a dish called _alheira_ for them, telling Erik that the dish had been invented by Portuguese Jew to trick the Christians into thinking they had converted to their religion. The fact that Charles knew this anecdote and thought about him warmed his heart, made him feel exactly in the right place. 

Through it all the waitress was smiling a lot and for a moment Erik thought she might be interested in Charles. He found that he could still be jealous and maybe glared just a bit. But she only smiled at them and leaned down, looked at him then Charles and told him _“Ele é lindo, mantenha ele!”_ She took the check and left them with a wink. 

Erik blinked “Did she just call me beautiful?”

Charles laughed “Yes. It was rather nice considering the daggers you threw at her with your eyes.”

Erik hawked, looking away “Yeah, sorry about that.” 

Charles laughed, shaking his head “It’s okay. She seems very kind and I think she has a girlfriend.” 

Erik rose his eyebrows “She does?”

He nodded and smiled “Hm hm, she kept thinking about a woman pretty loudly. I hope they’re happy.” 

Oh, Erik wasn’t so good at picking up on flirting anymore. It had been a while since he had cared about it. He shook his head gently and followed Charles as he said a joyful _“Tchau”_ to the waitress and left. 

It was a wonderful day. Erik felt overwhelmed with how perfect it was. With how beautiful and colourful the streets looked, the architecture was so utterly European. It made him feel homesick of a time he couldn’t properly remember. He only knew it was good now, he felt right, here with Charles. He kept talking about this ancient bookstore that they had to visit _Livraria Lello._

“An old place filled with books...didn’t you have enough of it with the mansion’s library?” Erik teased. 

“You know there’s never too many books to go around.” He smiled. 

Erik couldn’t refuse him anything that would make him happier, he couldn’t say no to that smile or any other kind. He accepted and got inside another taxi taking them to the place. Erik had to admit he had never seen such a fascinating bookstore in his life. Some wonderful libraries, yes. But a bookstore this old and grand, never. He watched as Charles’ eyes got bigger and his mouth was slightly open, he looked fascinated and Erik found himself thinking he was more enthralling than the place. 

“I’m so happy you came here with me.” Charles said, holding his hand, bringing it to his heart. 

Erik thought his own heart might explode. It was too much at once. How could it feel so new when he had been through so many things, so much pain and heartaches, when he had known love and regret, how could it feel so pristine? So utterly pure? So untouched? He couldn’t explain it, all that he knew was he had never wanted to protect something more than the bond he was finally letting flourish between Charles and him. 

While Charles was wandering around, Erik looked at books on places to visit, mostly restaurants, he wanted to treat Charles to a good meal. He found a little place that was exactly what he looked for, when he closed the book he was face to face with Charles and a book wrapped in red paper. 

“For you.” He said softly “You can open it later.” 

Erik took the book in his hands and probably looked at it like it was some kind of wonder. But to him it was, the sole fact of being here felt like a miracle. For a moment, he could only smile like his brain suddenly stopped working. 

Charles only laughed and said “Let’s go get a drink!” 

Erik followed as Charles led them to a small cafe with a terrace filled with sunflowers and begonias, that smelled of cinnamon and _pastéis de nata_. The air was warm and kids were playing around with ribbons. 

They ordered homemade iced tea. Erik had been noticing Charles hadn’t been drinking a single drop of alcohol since...well since he had found him in Paris. Erik guessed it had more meaning than just beverage choices. He didn’t say a thing and just appreciated each moment he spent with Charles. If anything, he was proud of him for quitting something that was probably bad for him. 

He smiled to himself as he listened to Charles’ story about a student who spoke portuguese and taught him some words. It was a beautiful story, Erik was only sad at the thought that this was something he left behind. He tried to think about what was to come, what he had always wanted but he couldn’t forget Charles had to leave and that if Erik hadn't come he would’ve been pretty much alone by now. He focused on Charles’ watch and the pulse he could feel until he wasn’t thinking of that anymore. 

Erik invited Charles to the restaurant he had spotted. The book didn’t lie, it was simple and delicious. They shared their ice cream and he felt so light and full at the same time he thought he might explode from all the love he couldn’t contain. 

They ended up in a park named _Jardim de João Chagas_ looking at the sunset. It was astonishing to see how it calmed him now. To simply share this with someone he had known for so long, he felt like a part of him. He could imagine them back home sharing these moments knowing they would come around again and again. It was the gentlest realisation. 

“Perhaps, you could open your gift now.” Charles brought him out of his reverie with a smile. 

Erik obliged and tore the paper carefully to find a book that was _Poesia de Alvaro de Campos_ by _Fernando Pessoa._

Erik was looking at it like it was his most precious possession when Charles spoke again “Alvaro de Campos was one of his numerous pen names. He called them heteronyms. His poetry is really beautiful I thought you might like it and since we were in Portugal I thought I ought to go local.” 

Erik’s voice felt raw and vulnerable when he said “I’ve never read his poetry, only his essays. Thank you, Charles.”

Charles looked at him and interlaced his fingers with his “To many other firsts.” 

Yes, Erik thought. To the life they still had to spend together. 


	4. madeira

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m finally updating this one, madeira is a very special place my mother told me about and i would love to visit someday until then i’m having a bit of this wonder right there

Erik realised he didn’t want to leave this place. Mostly not when he could watch the sun set over the ocean from the window with Charles’ head on his lap and a Martini in his hand. He was the epitome of content. Madeira had been a good idea, a small Portuguese island, away from everything. It reminded him of his own island, calm, green, peaceful. But he wasn’t longing for his home, he was perfectly fine right there. 

The house was small and white, it had two almost similar bedrooms with baby blue pillows and curtains. The only difference was that one of the room had a king size bed and the other had two separate beds. Charles and Erik had been sleeping in the same bed like they did since Paris and Erik couldn’t imagine sleeping any other way now. He couldn’t remember what it felt like to wake up on his own and it had only been a few days. 

It was strange how you got used to lonely beds and days spent on your own, how a single moment could change it all. How you couldn’t begin to think of another life afterwards. Like everything had been leading you to this time and place. Erik was happy to find that sometimes you were exactly where you needed to be. That sometimes you didn’t need to fight for what you wanted. It was given to you and you just needed to take it in your arms. 

Erik rather liked when Charles was in his arms, at all times of the day. When he woke up early to run and went back to bed, when they were reading and drinking tea in the afternoon, when late evening turned into night and his lips always found Charles’ and his heart always felt at home. 

When he fell asleep this night, he prayed for the first time in so long, that it would last, evolve with them but stay. When he fell asleep this night, he was holding Charles’ hand and hoping he would never have to let go. 

When he woke up the next morning, he had clearly overslept since Charles was already up. And not hurt or gone, he corrected himself. He could hear him sing, he was definitely okay. He relaxed. He wasn’t in danger if he was still able to sing off key like this. Erik smiled in spite of himself as he walked to the kitchen to find Charles making pancakes. That was an unreal sight, one he never through he would see. But then again, he’d never thought he would be on a Portuguese island with Charles one day. 

“Who are you and what have you done with my Charles?” Erik joked. 

He laughed joyfully “It’s his evil twin who likes to make tons of pancakes.” 

“I didn’t know evil twins liked to make pancakes in their spare time.” He said as he got closer. 

“There’s many things you don’t know.” Charles teased before Erik kissed him. 

Charles moaned into the kiss and it reminded him that they didn’t have sex yet. Not that Erik was in a hurry, they had all the time in the world. He really wanted him, that was all. He had to make a move, perhaps Charles felt like him, too flustered to do anything, too content to alter things between them. 

“Not only hungry for the pancakes I see.” Charles said mischievously, stopping the kiss. 

Erik didn’t know if he had picked up on his thoughts or was just caught up by the intense kissing but he just smiled. 

“Well, if any food poisoning happens, you’ll have to forgive me.” He said apologetically. 

Erik snorted “That bad?”

Charles made a grimace “We’re going to figure this out together.”

Erik took the plate of pancakes, marmalade and syrup and sat at the table, feeling 30 years younger. 

Charles smiled sunnily at him “After you.”

Erik laughed, shaking his head “I know you’re not being polite but secure.”

He only winked and started to put syrup on his pancake. 

Erik finally jumped and took a piece into his mouth and was surprised to find it was good, really good. 

“Considering the look on your face, you seem to be surprised. Thankfully, Erik. I know how to make pancakes.” Charles teased. 

“Well, you were the one talking about food poisoning.” He rose his eyebrows. 

“You know when we reopened the school with Hank. We had no cook for weeks, in fact we didn’t have much staff and we had two teachers. That left Hank and I as improvised cooks. Hank handled himself, it took me a while to be above eggs and mac&cheese. The kids really loved how unhealthy my meals were, I’ll give myself that.” 

Erik only beamed, it was wonderful to see the ability he had to keep the good side of everything, to be filled with more good memories than regret. Erik couldn’t master that yet, probably never. 

“Now I really imagine you as a chef.” He joked. 

“I wouldn’t go that far but I can handle the basics, kids’ favourites.” Charles said as he took a piece of pancake into his mouth.

Erik liked Charles’ anecdotes, they were filled with so much affection. He wished that his home would bring as much joy and opportunity to help and teach others. He wanted for Charles to feel at home, needed, appreciated. That’s what he wanted most, another home for him. Somewhere safe, somewhere he could stay. 

“You know what’s terrible about my mutation? I can’t properly say ‘what are you thinking of?’ without it sounding a bit stupid.” Charles said lightly. 

“I find it quite nice. Very polite. I was just thinking that you always keep the best in everything, I admire that in you.” That was rather sincere, but Erik tried to do that more with Charles. 

He smiled softly “Well, I think everything that ended and made you sad was something that made you happy. You can either long for that or remember how good it once was. That’s always what I am trying to do but I don’t think there’s anything to admire, truly.”

“I do. Not everyone has this ability. Sometimes I’m sad for you, angry even. Because I never knew someone who worked so hard to help everyone around them for decades. Perhaps you don’t admire what you did, mostly not after what happened but I do, and I always will.” 

Charles looked so touched it pierced through Erik’s heart. Erik felt that wasn’t how he had thought of himself in a long while, perhaps ever. But Erik was ready now, he was ready to show the entirety of his feelings. His love, his admiration, his respect. Charles only said “Thank you.” very quietly. And it meant everything. 

It was a particularly hot day, not overwhelming, they could feel the sea all around them. The wind was nice and not too warm. Erik only felt the need to bathe in this perfectly blue ocean. He said so to Charles and he agreed. It was only a short distance since the house was so close to the beach. This place was truly perfect, it was also clouded with his love, making everything look bright but it was so purely beautiful and calm. Like the place had been waiting for them all along. Most of Charles’ body was in the water, Erik was the same. He closed his eyes, feeling every elements, feeling at peace with everything. It was rare, very rare so he cherished it. He cherished this moment, he cherished Charles for taking him here, for the sole fact that he was there. It was him who broke the silence. 

“You can’t imagine how long I’ve spent in water.” Charles laughed softly. 

“For reeducdational purposes?”

Charles nodded “At first it can be a true pain, you feel like a burden. You don’t know if you’re going to achieve anything. But then you can move, swim, stand on your feet, you feel free, light.” 

Erik smiled at him as Charles was bathing in water and sunlight. 

“It’s really nice, I wish we could stay longer.” Erik sighed. 

“We still have four days.” Charles took his hand “And then we’ll still have all the time in the world.”

It wasn’t really true, he thought. Once they really had all the time in the world. It was sad to think you never really valued time when it was laid in front of you. But instead of wording his thoughts, Erik kissed him and appreciated the moment. It was still perfect, no matter how many worries were there. How many things he regretted. That was still absolutely perfect. He couldn’t help but cherish every moment he spent with Charles. It didn’t matter how much there will be, he had a place for every single one of them. He kept them close to his heart always. 

The whole day had been some of the most beautiful days of his life. It had felt like this since Paris but this one shined particularly. It wasn’t anything special but as it went Erik felt less and less filled with fears and doubts. He knew they would be happy, he really wanted to believe it could work and nothing wrong was going to happen. And this day felt out of time, infinite. They baked a pie with local fruits, they played chess, Erik read the book Charles offered him while they were listening to the radio. The simplicity of this day was everything Erik had ever wanted. Although he knew not every single day of his life could look like this one, he found himself holding the calm, peaceful days tight to his heart. 

When night fell, they were drinking tea. Erik didn’t want to sleep, he had never been good at letting go of things that felt so right. He convinced that tomorrow would be perfect too, and the next day. That Charles wouldn’t change his mind, wouldn’t leave, wouldn’t get hurt. He convinced himself it would be right this time. He repeated it like a mantra, again and again until he started to believe it. He didn’t want to ruin the best days he had in so long or the wonderful future that was ahead of them. 

Charles took his hand “You’re thinking so loudly. You know...I’m scared too. It feels too good too soon but perhaps it only feels like this because we never had something that felt so right and lasted. But I’m not going anywhere and neither are you, right? We have nothing to worry about now, so let’s just...let’s just appreciate what we have. Alright?” 

Erik nodded, he didn’t feel the strength for anything else. 

Charles started to speak again “Last night I had this dream. We were in your island and we were planting a tree. How symbolic. You see, this is what I think we’re doing. We are planting something together. We are building something. It’s not always going to be this easy and idyllic. While we’re here we should take time to appreciate it. Don’t you think?”

It felt so simple when Charles said it like this. And it probably was that simple. He only had to convince his mind of what his heart already knew “You’re right. This place should never be ruined with any kind of gloominess.” 

Charles laughed “That’s the spirit!” 

Erik smiled and it was still strange to smile so often. But he did and there were always something to make him smile there and it felt good. 

“I’ve said it many times but I’m truly so happy to share this with you. It’s been wonderful. Better than I could ever imagine. Thank you.”

He kissed his forehead “We should go to sleep.” 

Charles nodded. But none of them did move. They remained side by side on the couch. They bathed in the silence and calm. It felt exactly right. And Erik thought, they had all the time to move again. It was only them, they didn’t have to answer to anyone else. It was foreign yet it fitted perfectly.


	5. last day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My brand is taking weeks to post a chapter then take 2 days to post a new one. Enjoy!

It’s the last day. It was his first thought when he woke up. Their last day in their own little piece of paradise. It was foolish, it wasn’t theirs but in his head it was their house. The place belonged to them. And he knew that no matter where he would go, how far, how much time will pass. This place will always be cared for and safe, in his heart. He could pretend it was only the place that made him so sentimental but he knew it was most likely the person that was snuggling to him. The person that was smiling in his sleep. That made him smile too, he was so disgustingly in love. He used to think a love that felt so exiting and whole couldn’t last. But here he was. Feeling like he did thirty years ago. Only, it was better now, more peaceful. Somehow even more fulfilling, completing. 

One of the things he liked most was to feel Charles waking up. The way he would slowly open his eyes, stretch his shoulders, yawn before he would utter a quiet yet enthusiastic “Good morning” to him. Erik could only appreciate the fact he didn’t run this morning. No, their last day was something that had to be spent together. Every minute mattered. Every single minute left in their safe haven. He wanted to say it, these stupid three words that didn’t convey all that he felt. He wanted to say these words but he couldn’t bring himself to it. It was ridiculous really, why was it so hard to say something that wasn’t even close to the depth of your feelings? Why did the word get stuck and his throat seemed to hold them back? Because he loved him, even if the words were restricting and unfitting there were true. And he knew that one day, they would come easily, without fear. But it wasn’t today. 

Charles was starting to properly open his eyes and his attention seemed to focus on Erik’s left hand. He looked at it strangely. 

“Your hands are massive.” He said fascinated. 

That made Erik laugh “Is that right?” 

Charles nodded, caressing his fingers “Your fingers are so long. Must be practical to move all this metal I have to say.”

“Only you can get philosophical about my fingers.” He said affectionately. 

Charles laughed softly “I could get philosophical about a soup can if I wanted.” 

“I know.” He whispered. 

“How do you feel about leaving tonight?”

“Let’s pretend we’re not leaving at all until we’re on the plane. Does that work for you?” His voice sounded more vulnerable than he ever thought it could. 

“Of course.” He answered softly. 

In that moment, it felt like they perfectly understood each other. None of them wanted to leave. And truly it was ironic because Erik never thought he would be there in the first place he only wanted to give Charles a home, his home. In retrospect, he wanted more than that but he had never imagined sailing to another island and spending what was the best vacation of his entire life with the first man he had truly ever loved. It was still peculiar to call this his life, to know it would still be there when they would be gone from this place. Perhaps it was why he didn’t want to leave, more than how beautiful or how calm it was, it held all of his hopes and he was scared something would break this. Irrational in his life had become what was usually rational and he was trying with every fiber of his body to practice what Charles told him. To appreciate what they had now, knowing he wouldn’t go. It was hard but he was willing to try every day for the rest of his life, if it meant he would still have this, always. 

Going out of bed was hard for the both of them. The bed was warm and safe. And although the house was filled with the same energy that Erik craved even while they were still there, the bed was theirs. Soon, it would be someone else’ but in his heart it would remain the same bed with blue pillows, the first one he ever felt really comfortable holding him. It was hard to let go of something he loved but he tried to remember that having Charles in his home, in his own bed would be wonderful and maybe a bit overwhelming at first. That he would wake up in the same bed but with the person he loved and on the few, calm days sleep in. Erik had never been that fond of staying in bed. Always preferred, perhaps out of habit, waking up early. But since he discovered what cuddling with Charles in the morning felt like, he grew rather addicted and he knew it was something he didn’t want to quit. 

Erik wanted to cook something, he decided it would be pasta with vegetables. He was decided to impress Charles today and even made lemonade. He was in a really good mood, focusing on his task, occasionally watching Charles read in the other room. He felt lighthearted, like this day would last forever. Of course, the rational part of his mind knew it won’t, knew that this night they would be on that plane not knowing if they would ever come back here. But his heart, wanted to believe it would never end. That they would remain on the patio, drinking and laughing. It was too beautiful of day to eat inside. The sun was soft on their skins. Birds were singing, they heard the ocean as well as they saw it. It was too heavenly, too perfect, too good to be true. He didn’t remember a time where everything felt so right. He thought about what Raven once told him, that he still had a family. She had been right, he was at home here. But he had a feeling, home could be anywhere with Charles. Home was this hotel in Paris or the one in Porto, it was this house. Even his island would feel more like home after sharing it with Charles. It was a ridiculously sappy thought, but it was true. 

What Erik had learned was that no matter how much you wanted to hold onto a moment, time always took it away from you. For the first time, he didn’t hold a grudge against time. He let go of every minute, every hour. As he watched the tide and the few flowers that were still blossoming. He felt at peace, with Charles’ head resting on his shoulder. And the wind that could only be found on a small Portuguese island. Instead of regretting the time that was passing, he found himself cherishing every second he had left. He could feel Charles moving a bit. 

“You’re rather sleepy today.” Erik noticed. 

“Hm I know. You’re very comfortable is all.” He mumbled into his arms. 

The three words tore through his heart, burned his throat and died on his tongue. He only smiled when he tried to look up with half open eyes. 

“Erik...” he started with a little more energy “What is the most beautiful place you’ve ever been to?”

“Would it sound terribly cliché of me to say this place?” 

Charles chuckled “Not at all. I was going to say the same thing. I haven’t travelled much with the school and all but I can’t really think of anything better than this.”

“Neither can I.” And it was the sincerest thing he had said in his life. 

Charles interlaced their fingers “Your hands are cold. In Portuguese they have this proverb ‘Mãos frias, coração quente’ I thought about you the first time I heard it.” 

“I have cold hands but a warm heart?” He asked hesitantly. 

“Exactly. I think nothing describes you more than this. You know what the rest of the proverb says?”

Erik shook his head, falling and trying to swim in Charles’ eyes instead of just drowning. 

Charles looked down at their interlaced fingers before he said “Amor para sempre”

And right there, he decided it was one of the most beautiful and significant moments of his life. He would remember this, always. And he did feel warm in that moment, he took his time to appreciate it. He felt warm, loved and so happy the feeling was still peculiar. He had to close his eyes for a little while and when he opened them again, everything was as perfect. Nothing had moved, except it felt like his heart was too big for his body. Charles smiled at him shyly and he knew he could never stop loving this man. 

Erik had packed their few possessions, putting them redundantly in the car. As Charles waited on the passenger seat, looking for the right frequency. When Erik started to drive to the airport, the sun was setting and the sky looked so beautiful with all those shades of pink and purple, he was grateful they ranted a car without a roof. The look of pure wonder on Charles’ face was worth everything. And although he didn’t understand every single word of the song that was playing on the radio, he loved it and Charles seemed to love it too. If Erik ever had to describe a perfect day that was how he would describe it. A multitude of lovely moments spent with the person you loved. Something you couldn’t really put into words or keep in a jar. Something you had to let go of but you would keep in your heart forever. And perhaps, he didn’t know much about happiness, not a long lasting one but this was pure happiness to him. 

On the plane, he wasn’t sad. He was hopeful, once he had blamed Charles for the way he put all of those hopes in him but now he could only be grateful. It was hope that brought Charles back to him. It was hope that filled his heart and made him believe everything would turn out alright. It was hope he wanted to believe in and not his doubts and fears. He knew he would have to deal with them again but he was ready. He was more than ready for it all

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song is As Canções Que Você Fez Pra Mim by Roberto Carlos if you want to listen to it. Next chapter will be Charles’ pov. Take care!


	6. genosha

Genosha, Charles only ever heard about it and saw some pictures. Once during a phone call shortly before his project properly came to life and he came to host mutants, Erik had told him excitedly about it. About how it would be a safe haven for so many of their kind, how kids would grow into acceptance and peace. Charles had been proud and truly believed in what Erik was doing. And when Erik asked him to come visit he truly believed he would come. But he never did. The last years of his life were filled with pretending, pretending with the humans that were either treating them like monsters or heroes, pretending he was happy with his life and successful when he had never been this lonely and empty. Pretending his relationship with his sister wasn’t falling apart, pretending he wasn’t drinking all his fears and sadness away. At this time, he had thought on so many occasions that he was exactly like the people he never wanted to look like as a teen. A hollow, sad man hiding behind wealth and power. He hated himself when he took all these pictures for magazines who once treated mutants like a worldwide danger. He was ashamed when he talked to people who once told them they were God’s mistake. And now, he was thinking, at what cost? After what happened, they were seen as an issue again. Perhaps, he had thought himself too powerful, trusted his cause with too much. In the end, it had costed a lot but what he learned was that light could be found again. And he didn’t have to spend the rest of his life regretting what he did or didn’t do. 

His first day had been full of discoveries. The island looked idyllic and nothing like the school. It was made of only what was needed to live, most things in metal and everything around so green and vividly alive. Kids were running while adults were picking fruits and working the earth. Charles was purely fascinated with everything he saw, he wanted to smile constantly. Seeing kids so happy and free warmed his heart. The way everyone worked to help and provide for each other was utterly too beautiful. And when he looked up at Erik he could feel how excited and proud he was of this place that came straight out of a dream. And Charles didn’t miss any opportunity to tell him just how happy he was about everything. How thankful he was to be here. Erik’s enjoyment was leaking out of his pores and his eyes as they got closer to his place. 

Erik’s room was a reflection of himself with nothing superfluous, with only a bed, a few possessions. It looked like a place to meditate if it wasn’t for the bed, Charles would have thought it was some sort of temple. Of course, he had to make a joke about it it was too tempting “I didn’t know I was sharing my bed with the Dalai Lama all this time.” 

That made Erik laugh “You know about my anger issues. Meditation is something vital.” 

“I bet it is. That’s just...a lot of candles.” He said as he looked around and rose an eyebrow. 

“You’ll be happy to have them when you want to read at night, trust me.” 

“And here I thought you would keep me occupied every night.” 

His tone had been light but Erik turned white like the prospect of what it was implying was very foreign or something he didn’t expect. Charles was still insecure at heart, was always scared to say the wrong thing. So he added “I’m joking. Although it’s not something that I would be against, you don’t have to feel pressured or anxious. I’m just...well I would like to share that with you but not if you’re uncomfortable with it of course.” 

That made Erik laugh fondly “You never make me feel pressured.” He started to pace “It’s just...I didn’t know if you were interested. Because I’m interested, it’s just well...I didn’t know when it was the right time, everything is so new.” He sighed “We’re both terrible at this, aren’t we?”

Charles chuckled “I think we really, really are.” 

Erik sat down “Not to break the whole spontaneous aspect of it but maybe tonight we could...try?” He said hesitantly. 

Charles only nodded. He wasn’t truly ready to tell Erik he hadn’t done this in a while, a really long while. Perhaps, it wouldn’t even matter. Everything he did with Erik was somehow new. And he wasn’t so afraid when he was around him. He was lost in thoughts when he kissed him with aching tenderness. And left too soon whispering “Until tonight.” Charles could only smile nervously and follow him as he presented him to many people. Most were incredibly nice to him, sometimes even thanking him for what he did. He didn’t really know what to say, it didn’t feel like he did something right for his kind in so long. But he did smile and thanked them. Some were cold and he could guess they were the most “extreme” part of the island, the people who wanted to be part of the brotherhood. Of course, Charles talking on tv and cooperating with humans got him out of their good books. But each time it happened, Erik gave them this dark look and they all looked away. Truly, it didn’t bother him. It was their home, he had just arrived. He was the one who needed to prove he was part of this, not them. 

Indeed, Charles met many people but one young girl caught his attention. While Erik had to help with a machine. Charles wandered around and saw her, sitting around plants and flowers that seemed to dance around her and sing. He was mesmerized. When she looked up at him, she smiled “Hey, I saw you on TV!”

He laughed “You probably did, yes. I’m Charles. What’s your name?” 

She got up and shook his hand “I’m Callie. Nice to meet you.” 

“Wow, that’s a handshake!” He said impressed “How old are you?” 

“Nine. It was my birthday two days ago.” She answered proudly. 

“Happy birthday! You seem to have some good friends right here, can you communicate with them?” He said pointing at the plants and flowers. 

Callie nodded excitedly “Yes! I listen to them, well they cannot feel and talk like us but they have needs and an energy and I can understand that.”

“That’s wonderful.” He said sincerely “Do they understand you then?”

“I think so, yes. When I’m sad they always seem to make it better.” 

Charles smiled fondly “Thats a great gift you have there.”

“What’s your gift?” She asked curiously.

“I can read minds and I can communicate with them just like you do with plants.” 

“That’s amazing! If I think about a number you can guess it, right?”

Charles laughed softly, no matter how old they were or where they came from, people always seemed to asked this question. He nodded. 

She closed her eyes for a moment and thought hard about a number then opened them again and looked at Charles. 

“3 590 345, that’s a really long number.” Charles noticed. 

“I like big numbers!”

Charles smiled “Are your parents here with you?” It was a delicate question to ask. Charles knew just how many mutant kids were abandoned, he had his fair share at the school. 

“Just my mother.” 

“Is she a mutant like you?” 

She nodded “Hm hm, she controls water.” 

“Wow, that’s incredible. You are quite the family of wonders.”

She smiled shyly “Are your parents mutants too?”

“No, when I was a kid I didn’t know any adult mutant. But I did have a sister, she had a wonderful gift just like you.” Charles was impressed at how simple it was to talk about Raven with this kid when he didn’t talk to anyone about her. 

Callie seemed curious when she asked “What was her gift?”

“Oh something unique and absolutely amazing. She could transform into anybody. She could’ve been you, anyone on this island, the president, Elton John...” He could hear her giggle at that “Anybody she wanted, even animals.”

“That sounds so cool! What did she look like?”

“When she wasn’t transforming, she was this wonderful shade of blue and had red hair.” 

“I wish my skin was blue too...”

“Well, you already have these elf ears not everyone can say that.” 

She touched her ears self consciously “You think they’re cool?”

“Incredibly cool.” He confirmed. 

“Thank you!” She beamed “People used to make fun of me so I hid my ears but now I never do.” 

Charles couldn’t help but smile. This warmed his heart and reminded of how many kids felt safer with what they made them so unique and special, things they once hated and now accepted. It was beautiful. 

Callie placed her hands upon the earth and said “I planted that seed last time, look.” 

Something was growing quickly until he could see a sunflower blossoming. He was mesmerized, for a moment he could only gasp. He had seen many beautiful things in his life but this was ethereal. Purely marvelous. 

He could only say “You’re incredible. That might be the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.”

She smiled proudly as she got up and tidied her dress “I really need to go, my mom is waiting for me but we can meet tomorrow right?”

“Of course. Don’t keep her waiting.” He said joyfully. 

“See you tomorrow!” She waved as she left in a hurry. 

Charles couldn’t move for a while, just remained there. For a moment he wondered if it happened. It reminded him of past moments spent with another kid. A very special little girl. He tried not to dwell on it and mostly he tried not to project on that kid. But when she smiled it was hard to not see the ghost of someone else. He didn’t how much time passed, his mind had blanked until Erik put his hand on his shoulder. 

“Hey, didn’t know we were playing hide and seek. Thankfully, you wear your watch and there’s metal in your chair, I fear I won’t be so good at that game without this.” 

Charles smiled faintly “Sorry, I talked to that little girl and then...I don’t really remember.” He shrugged “You weren’t worried?”

It was Erik’s turn to shrug “You know me, always thinking about the worst case scenario and it seems like you found the quietest part of this island...but you’re here, that’s okay. I didn’t want you to miss dinner. Someone made paella it smells incredible.” 

“I really am sorry... And I wouldn’t miss paella if my life depended on it.” 

Erik smiled “It’s fine. It’s on me, I’m just a pessimistic grump you know, that’s my curse.” 

Charles laughed “A rather handsome pessimistic grump, I’ll give you that.” 

Erik gave him his best shark grin “Oh that’s part of my curse too.”

Charles rolled his eyes “Let’s go. This paella’s is asking for me.” 

Erik led the way and soon enough they were sat at a table with many other people, sharing what was the best paella of Charles’ life. He loved how they shared meals together, talked freely: laughed together. It was truly a wonderful sight to see. And he found himself thankful to be here again. And when Erik squeezed his hand during dinner, he felt safe and warm. While everyone danced around and laughed, Charles looked at the stars he didn’t remember seeing them shining so brightly except for Madeira and when he looked over at Erik, he found he was thinking the exact same thing. 

Back in Erik’s room, Charles barely took off his shoes and didn’t bother to take most of his clothes off before he fell on the bed. 

“Tired, already?” Erik teased as he laid next to him. 

“I’m starting to get old.” 

“You’re rather hard on yourself, you barely look eighty.” He grimaced. 

Charles hit his shoulder “You’re off to a very wrong start if you want to share any kind of intimacy with this old man tonight.”

Erik pouted “Please, you’re my favourite eighty year old.” 

“What a complete twit.” He muttered. Which made Erik laugh. 

When he stopped laughing he looked over at Charles and asked “So who was the little girl that you met today?”

That hit Charles a bit but he tried to get a hold of himself when he asked back “Do you know every kid there?”

He nodded “Pretty much. I meet every person who wants to live there, personally. I must know her.”

“Well, her name’s Callie and she-“

“Can communicate with plants.” He finished the sentence “That kind of power doesn’t go unnoticed.” 

Charles chuckled softly “I bet it doesn’t. She’s already so good at controlling her power! And she’s so mature and caring.” 

“I’m jealous. I didn’t take over your heart so quickly.” He joked. 

“It is true that I remember being quite frozen the first time that we’ve met.” 

“Not many people can say they first met while one person was saving the other.” 

“What can I say? I love to do things differently.” He reached for his hand. 

“That, you do.” Erik said as he held his hand. 

For a while they remained there until Erik’s eyes had that little spark of understanding, something so discrete Charles only noticed because he was so close and had known Erik so well “She reminded you of Jean.” That wasn’t a question, he just knew “That’s why you looked so far away when I saw you.”

Charles didn’t deny, didn’t want to “I guess it is the red hair and the way her eyes are so bright. And the vivacity of her mind.” 

Erik nodded “I understand. She’s a great kid. Alone most of the time, not that other kids reject her I think she’s just used to being on her own. If she confided in you, she must really trust you. When they arrived here a year ago she didn’t talk to anyone. Mostly not men. Her father was violent to both her and her mother. It took a while for them to open up. Her mother is one of the bravest people I have ever met.”

“That’s horrifying. I’m glad they found shelter here.”

“They seem to be happy and feel safe. That was the hardest part for them I think, to know they were safe, protected.”

“I can only imagine.” In fact he knew what growing up with a violent person felt like but he didn’t want to talk about it, mostly not tonight. His mind had already felt so heavy on such a beautiful day. 

“You feel safe here, right?” Erik’s insecurity could be felt miles away. 

“I have never felt safer in my entire life.” Charles answered sincerely. 

Erik gave him the brightest smile he could possibly give before he kissed him. It was only a kiss, at first. Merely a few touch here and there. Until almost all of their clothes were gone. And it was about fumbling hands and losing breath for a little while, waiting barely a second and diving into kisses again. The moment felt purely out of time and if he had wanted to find a word to describe it he wouldn’t succeed. All that he knew was that when he fell on Erik’s chest, he had never felt so young and free. And he didn’t think anyone else in the world could make him feel like this. When he fell asleep that night his heart felt perfectly complete.


	7. the school

Erik woke up the next morning with Charles laid on his chest, drawing circles on his stomach. Erik sighed, it didn’t get old waking up to this. It was always as perfect as the last time. Erik couldn’t believe his luck. There was nothing he loved more than a sleepy Charles, holding him close like even in his sleepy state he couldn’t bear the thought of them being away. He smiled every single time he found them in a similar position. 

He didn’t resist the urge to kiss him for long, it was such an usual thing now but Erik knew how to appreciate those simple marks of affection after all the years that passed without them. When he was holding Charles like that he didn’t think about anything else and the world disappeared that was why it struck him when he heard Manuel scream “Rise and shine, lover boy!” from outside. Also he really wanted to strangle him but when he looked out he was already gone. 

That only made Charles laugh “Guess this is your signal to go.” 

“Unfortunately, yes.” 

“It’s for a good cause. These kids will finally have a proper place to learn.” 

“And be lucky enough to have you as a teacher.” Erik said sincerely. 

“You don’t need to flatter me, you know.”

“I’m not, just pointing out facts.” He argued before stealing a short kiss from him. 

He dressed as quickly as he could without falling down and when he was done he said kissing Charles’ forehead “I’ll see you soon.”

“Probably not so soon, I know you have a very busy schedule. Hopefully we’ll pass by each other.”

“Charles...” he said with no energy, he knew he was right, he only wished he could spend more time with him. The first week had been spent in a haze, of them in this bed or Erik showing Charles his new home, them playing chess, reading. This had been such a wonderful week, one of the most beautiful time of his life. But now...he had responsibilities and he was scared Charles would leave. He couldn’t say exactly why, he never implied he would he had never looked uncomfortable here or with him but it was growing. 

“I’m not going to leave, I’m here to stay Erik. I thought it was clear, but I’m here to remind you every time in case you forget. And no, I wasn’t reading your mind. You’re projecting at night and you’re projecting now.”

Erik looked down “I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help it. It just seems too...”

“Too unreal?” He breathed “Yes, I feel like this too. But this is real, this is what I chose. You don’t force me into this, you gave me a choice and I chose you, I chose Genosha. And I’m happy about it every single day. I love to wake up next to you, I love to listen to your heartbeat, I love to see you walk by my side, I love our games of chess, our times together, I love this life with you. I love you, Erik. Nothing can change that.” 

Erik could feel tears falling before he could even notice them, he wasn’t even able to speak. His throat felt stuck with emotion. 

Charles was in awe for a moment before he could whisper “Erik, you’re crying?”

Erik laughed at how ridiculous the question was “You just told me you loved me, of course I am crying.”

Charles only smiled softly at him and caressed his cheek “I can tell you that a hundred times but I think you truly need to go. Don’t keep them waiting. We’ll see each other tonight.”

Erik thought he had to say something, to say it back because he obviously felt it but...he was speechless. And Charles was right, they were waiting so he nodded. 

Charles kissed him gently and Erik left. Without a word, completely dumbfounded, probably for the rest of the day. He ran to the school they were building, he was indeed very late. 

Manuel was waiting for him in front of the installation, with a knowing smile, a very annoying one if you asked Erik.   
“Couldn’t leave your boyfriend, uh?”

Erik rolled his eyes so hard he thought he might turn blind “We’re both too old to be called boyfriends.” 

“Should I call him your other half? Your partner? Your significant other?” He teased 

“Or maybe you could call him Charles, his actual name?” 

It was his turn to roll his eyes “Anyway, why were you crying?”

Erik touched his face, self conscious “Is that...you can see that?”

“Anyone can see that, Erik. And I’m a fucking empath so yeah I can feel you are emotional. Not sad or upset just...shaken. What happened?”

Erik paced around, he wasn’t used to talk about his love life “Charles told me he loved me for the first time.”

Manuel merely raised his eyebrows “And you said it back?”

Erik laughed nervously “That’s the thing I didn’t.” 

“You didn’t?” He said with a snort “Literally everyone here knows you love him, some people already think about a super gay wedding, but you can’t tell him?”

“That’s not...listen it came out of the blue.”

“Do you know a first ‘I love you’ that didn’t?”

He felt frankly stupid “But he knows, he’s a telepath, he’s the smartest person I have ever met. He must know.”

“First of all, his power doesn’t mean he knows everything about you. Second of all, knowing it doesn’t mean he doesn’t deserve to hear it.”

“You’re right...but should I just tell him like that? Do I need to truly talk about my feelings?” He said confused 

“Should I remind you I’m 30 years younger than you? Just talk to him, okay? Say how you feel, you don’t need to overthink this. He loves you, you love him too. Easy. Damn grandpa, do I need to explain everything to you?”

“Hey, hey! Respect your elders. And I will talk to him tonight when we’re alone. Let’s go to work.”

Manuel shook his head and led the way. Erik liked work, constructing things. Mostly he loved to work when he needed to keep his mind out of overthinking. And it proved to be really hard because the person he only got to be with after 30 years of knowing him, the person he had loved ever since in a way or another, just told him he loved him. He never prepared for this. And okay, he felt stupid because it was only obvious that Charles loved him too, that he wanted to be with him. But Erik was a man who always feared to lose what he had. And the thought of Charles loving him as much as he did elated him as much as it scared him. Because Erik was in love, cared for him more than he did for anything else and it was terrifying because everything he ever loved, everything he ever had was taken away from him in the worst way. He only hoped, he could provide Charles a safe place. And that he wasn’t a curse all by himself, leading his loved ones to a terrible fate. 

He focused on work all day, he had always been good at that. The school was turning into something real each day that passed. It wasn’t so grand but it had heart, colours, they made it. Erik was pretty proud of it. He thought Charles would like it too. He fought the kids would love to learn there. All in all, he was satisfied about what they did today. 

When he saw him by late evening, Charles put down his book and said rather proudly   
“What did I tell you? No moment for us until tonight.”

“You want me to say that you were right?” Erik said teasingly

“Well, yes. But I’d prefer you to kiss me.”

Erik only obliged and kissed him with all the love he had to give. All the love he always kept with him. Above all, he felt grateful to finally be with Charles. To be able to love him, spend his days with him even with all the things he had to do lately. He felt lighthearted and young, only Charles could make him feel this way now.   
They quickly fell out of breath and when they stopped Charles looked at him, his eyes full of joy “Are you trying to sweep me off my chair?” He said mischievously.  
Erik laughed softly, looking at him like he held every answers and keys to this world. He caressed his face and beamed, suddenly it didn’t feel so heavy or complicated. It was obvious “I love you.” 

Charles only smiled for a moment. Before he looked thoughtful “There’s one thing I’d like to make very clear though.”

“Do tell.” He said amused. 

“Erik, you do know that I’m straight right? I don’t want you to get...you know the wrong ideas.”

Erik rolled his eyes with a snort “You’re very funny this evening. Do you consider what we did last night straight?”

Charles looked around comically “Well, I don’t know about you. But it was perfectly straight on my side.” 

Erik sighed “Need I remind you, you were the one giving me a handjob?”

“Just wanted to help you out, like a good friend would.” Charles shrugged. And his faked seriousness just made Erik shake his head and laugh. He caressed his face so gently, it must have felt like a feather on his skin. 

“I love you so much.” He whispered. 

Charles smiled brightly “I love you too.” He kissed his hand before he said quietly “In a very heterosexual way.” 

Erik snuggled to Charles’ chest “You’re terrible.

“I can say ‘but you love me anyway’ now.” Charles said proudly. 

“If you want to sound like a teenager, maybe.” Erik teased. 

“Hey!” Charles hit on his shoulder “Let me just appreciate that for a while. I didn’t even have anyone to be sappy with when I was a teenager.”

Erik couldn’t help but smile affectionately “Yeah, neither did I.” 

Charles chucked “That’s going to sound stupid but....do you think our lives would have been different if we had met when we were teenagers?”

He took his hand “Maybe, yes.”

“Do you think there’s a parallel universe where it happened and we’re together?”

“Well, we are together in this one.”

Charles laughed “Yes, I know.”

“As far as I’m concerned, we might be together in parallel universes the only one I care about is this one.”

Charles snuggled to him “Yeah, so do I.” 

It was true that everything felt so right but perhaps it didn’t mean it would turn to ashes. It only meant that in this particular universe they finally got to be happy. All in all, Erik was pretty satisfied about what that universe was giving him recently.


End file.
